Its been a long time coming. Waiting for me has been this space like the stars in the universe waiting to collide or collapse, whichever comes first. (maybe a bit dramatic) However, I’ve been trying to find the energy and the capacity to write my thoughts, my experiences with life as of late. Not only for my own sanity and focus but also for the distant me that will not remember what, when, where and with whom i ran across in my life or did for that matter.

I needed to see myself from the outside for a sec only to realize I was walking and have been walking in circles for some time now. Sometimes feeling like I’m getting a hold of my world around me then it crumbles on itself for a bit leaving me feeling lost or overwhelmed and with less energy then I would like.

I would love for this blog to turn into a place of thought, a place of reflection and most of all a place where I can share thoughts and ideas. A space dedicated to hold memories that I will one day need to look back on and say, “I remember that day or that place.” Otherwise I know that those moments will be seldom in the future.

For now a reflection on a wknd with the family and realizing that some things were just never in the realm of thought when it came to enjoying nature.

It is true that what you learn growing up is what you will practice most consistently throughout your life. There will be moments of deviation from that only to explore this curiosity that may creep up from time to time but depending on the circumstances at hand we tend to bounce back from that unfamiliar space back into our spiritual nest of comfort. It had been awhile since we’ve taken some time and for ourselves and left our calendars, emails, calls, and so many other things to only focus on what is really important now in our lives. Having kids has its way of letting a person at times reflect on simple things like what it used to be like to not have so many things on the mind and just do what you needed to and not have 10 other tasks on the mind. Our family took a trip over to Cave Creek Ranch in Portal AZ. A smooth ride down to the Ranch that is if you take the paved road out there unless you have a more rugged vehicle.

We decided to take the short route only to get about 7 miles away from our destination and have to turn back because of a fast moving stream that cut us off in a wash. Now, the younger kid-less version of myself would have gone through bitch but taking into account all the passengers we had and the vehicle we were in (mini van), definitely evoked the more responsible side to come forth and convince us to back track and have a better chance of making it to our destination without having to much of an adventure.

We finally made it over into the ranch a few hours late, just as the sun had gone down and a drizzle descended upon us. We found our key pinned to a cork board outside the office and a skunk just 10ft away greeting up with his tail on alert just incase anyone was thinking of making any sudden movements. We opened up our casita and guest house and immediately unloaded our bags into the house and prepped Tati (Octavio) and Mena (Ximena), for sleep.

Everyone slept alright except for Mena which has been waking up throughout the night either screaming or calling for either Mama or Papa. Bad dreams we figure. Next day up at the crack of dawn and Kate fixes us up some breakfast while I chase the littles around and keep them entertained in the new space. Outside we see deer eating freshly fallen acorns from a tall oak just a stone throw away. You can hear the many different types of birds in the trees and water flowing in the creek near by. The mountains rising up high to either side making you feel like your on another planet. We make our plans for a short walk up a hill after breakfast and head out toward the trail. The trail is just a short drive up the mountain and an even shorter walk up the hill to a site that overlooks the road but has an amazing view of the canyon we are now standing in. Its only morning and my back is already tired from bouncing these littles up and down the trail. I need to change that habit or they are going to break me. Mid day comes and we are back in our cozy place eating some delicious sandwiches. We gobble them up and head over to the creek knowing that the littles will be the first to jump in, and sure enough they walk right in. Temperature is certainly not something they think about at this age. Makes me wonder if I was the same at one point or did my concept of refreshing on a hot day was just drinking a glass of room temp water. Even warm water in the summer doesn’t appeal to me. I did end up walking in but that was about as much as i did. Both Tati and Mena were stripped down to nothing and after a few splashes they didn’t seem to even care about how cold the water was.

The day came to a close with a birthday supper for Beth Morgan (Kates mom), celebrating her 73rd year on earth. Evening was full of entertainment from the kids including some singing, dancing, and a game of charades where the littles acted out or imitated different animals they could remember. This sat evening we went to bed as usual with the screaming for some milk or fighting over the same book, or wanting to change books completely even before the story began. Its so hard to reason with tired children or even even want to reason for that matter. When both kids were finally asleep I closed my eyes and started to drift away, however what felt like minutes later Octavio slides off the bed and I hear him thud the ground. I run over immediately with a flashlight and find him still stunned between the bed and the wall which by the way was an exposed rock wall. I pick him up and he just looses his shit and starts crying, screaming for his mom. Mom picks him up and takes him then I look over and sister is now sitting straight up looking at me like “what just happened and lets go see what we can find in the fridge.”this goes on for about two hrs until we are able to get them back to sleep and before I knew it, the light was shinning throught the window greeting us to another day.

Hope this is a start to something regular and I hope it brings clarity to my mind from time to time. I hope to look back one day and remember all these wonderful moments. Not just the ones that pushed me to a breaking point. Tchau.